Inspired by Weinergate and the Bob Filner mayoral madness, the host of a globally popular syndicated radio show and podcast is offering a hundred grand, to any Earthling who can furnish proof of an affair, pick-up attempt, or two-way sexting with the quirky announcer during his marriage to Kathy Gray, who is concerned about reports that Roy has been spotted in public with the hoe that Earthlings can see right now by clicking here.
But “there is a catch,” according to Roy Gray, host of Jazz Joy and Roy, whose unprecedented search drew applause from Dood Dawg, the filthy rich Jazz Joy and Roy co-host pictured here who owns 7 brand new BMW automobiles and has proclaimed his intent to marry Kathy if Roy, a recovering ladies’ man, ever, according to Dawg, “go back to bein’ the type of self-destructive, trifling, spiritually bankrupt, broadcasting-scum bro who be the type of ho that be sayin’ yes to every woman who requests some luvin.” Gray explained, “By December 31, 2016 all ‘hit-on-nees’ who believe I willfully hit on them or participated in an affair must email a photo to be featured on the back of the Jazz-Joy-and-Roy-Mobile(s) and giant ‘Rent-Roy-he-owes-me-a-hundred-grand’ bartered billboards, plus send at least 3 different forms of proof (covering October 2009 through December 1, 2016) to both a national US news organization like the Associated Press (info@AP.org) and Jazz Joy and Roy (JazzJoyandRoy@gmail.com) to be approved by popular public votes counted by a reputable CPA bartered by Jazz Joy and Roy; and every penny of the up-to 100 grand in U.S. ‘Roy Gray’ dollars I, Roy, pay out must be mailed to the street address of the recipient (no P.O. Boxes) in the form of check(s) and come directly and exclusively from me Roy, directly and exclusively through a 10% deduction from each cash (not bartered) voice-over-only, not-mobile-DJ job I, Roy, while in the God-granted vocal health represented on the demo you can hear by clicking here or any word or photo in this press release, personally perform (excluding residuals, if any) after ‘proof’ is authenticated, until the grand total before-tax sum is reached….and all this must be done with the understanding that rules are subject to change; the first Earthling to email video of yours truly even staring at any ‘not-Kathy’ Earthling for more than a gentlemanly 10 seconds at a time will not qualify for the 100 grand, but will receive, as a consolation, a pair of white driving gloves to help you help any police Earthlings approaching your car clearly see your hands at all times, reducing the level of threat, as suggested by America’s Department of Motor Vehicles; any lawsuits over the 100 grand must be decided in Arizona USA; and Earthlings who fail to copy, paste and attach the latest version of this press release to their email or who participate in stunts like, and by no means limited to, planting Fredericks of Hollywood items in the pockets of yours truly and lap-dance staging; or submit photo-shopped or maliciously-edited content are automatically disqualified.”
Bonus: Get an additional 100 grand if your proof package contains all the above, plus a detailed description of the bracelet Kathy recently found, as well as, the name of the bracelet’s owner. A Jazz Joy and Roy bumper sticker will be awarded if only the name of the bracelet’s owner is provided.
Promotion void where prohibited and Earthlings who catch Kathy directly talking to any male Earthling with a full head of hair via social networks or in person more than twice per quarter should continue to inform Roy to help fuel Roy’s already-intense tennis prep weight lifting.
Earthlings in the following countries can’t seem to get enough of this 100 Grand page: